Writer's Journey

I am a writer.

To me, these are not simply empty words. This is how I see myself. I have other labels that I apply to myself, but if someone were to ask me what I was, the first thing that would come to mind is that.

I am a writer.

I do not truly remember when I made the decision to become one. It has always been a part of me. I wrote about as much as I read. I made up stories to entertain my siblings and my cousins. I collected quotations and trivia. I had enough books that it was hard to navigate my room because they spilled over every surface of the room. Every scrap of paper was a canvas for the words and thoughts that spilled out of me like water overflowing from a cup.

I do remember the first person to ever use the word writer to describe me. Mrs. Summers wasn't even speaking to me. She was speaking with the Arts teacher, Miss Mac. Miss Mac said that I had a way with words and Mrs. Summers agreed with a casual "she's quite the little writer". I wonder if Mrs. Summers knew the effect that those words would have upon my impressionable fourth grade self.

I wrote my first complete story that year. It was flat and juvenile. I was disappointed in it even as I felt pride in the accomplishment of finishing it. I wanted the polished edge that my favorite authors had in the books that I devoured. I checked out books on writing from the library and devoured them just the same as I had the fiction ones. I took notes and did the exercises suggested. I convinced my grandmother to get me a grammar text for Christmas and set about memorizing the rules therein.

I wrote so many stories, each just a bit better than the last. Each one was just a bit longer. The characters were just a bit more substantial. I learned just a bit more. I saved up and bought a typewriter secondhand, but then I couldn't afford the paper for it. Then the library gained computers that had free usage. They even had free typography lessons! It got even better when my middle school offered the classes as well. Typing out a story was so much easier than having to rewrite it every time that I wanted to edit a scene.

There were a couple of times that I tried giving it up. After all, writing was something that I had done as a child and one must grow up eventually. Each time I would find myself scribbling down an idea or telling someone about a story that would be interesting to read. I found myself writing a scene out in my journal or stringing together words in a lyrical format.

I tried giving up on my writing. It never gave up on me.

I write because I can't not write. I'm a writer because I write. I have my own quirks and foibles. I have what is most likely an unhealthy coffee addiction. I have more dictionaries than are probably necessary. I have my little rituals for writing.

I am a writer.