Love Letter

Dear Alex,

I love you. You have asked me why. I'm going to tell you why.

You're perfect. Oh, you have flaws. I am not denying that, but they aren't really any worse than mine and they don't detract from your overall worth. That makes them sound like points. They aren't points. It's like building a character. The flaws you have keep you from being a Gary Stu. They make you uniquely perfect rather than a cookie cutter copy. They make you, well, you.

You don't care that I'm damaged. No, that's not it. You do care. You see the wounds upon my soul and you fill them with enamel. I can't remember the word at the moment, but that's what you do. You don't love me in spite of it or because of it. You accept it as a part of me. In your eyes, I am more beautiful for having been broken. Moreover, you repair the damage in such a way that I can see it as well.

You have never attempted to tear me down to make yourself seem better. Even in anger, you never fling cruel insults or name at me. If you don't agree with something I say or do, you let me know and we discuss it. I know that I'm not the best at doing the same and I apologize for that. I'm going to make more of an effort in the future. You deserve that. Thank you for bearing with me despite that.

I can't say that you have never hurt me, but I can honestly say that you have never intended to do so. I know that I have unintentionally hurt you as well, and I'm sorry for that. But these are not things either of us hang onto to drag out every time we have a small disagreement or even a larger fight. We discuss them, treating them as lessons, and then we move onward.

You have never threatened me in any way. Oh, I know that you have joked about withholding this or that. But it's nothing that would actually harm me. Your presence and affection are not leverage to get your way in an argument.

You listen when I speak, and more importantly, you understand me, even when I don't understand me. I can talk to you about anything. You'll understand, and even those times when you don't immediately, you ask me to explain, which I do. Always, you have some insight that I may have missed. Your advice is always invaluable to me.

I love being intimate with you. I am not talking about sex, though that is sometimes part of it. I love the feeling of connection, that baring of my soul. I can be myself completely with you. I love that you always treat it as precious as it is. You treat it as a trusted privilege instead of your just due. You have never abused that privilege. What is more awesome in my mind is the fact that you trust me to do the same. I hope that I never disappoint you in that regard.

When it comes to sex, you always take care of me first, even when I am not certain of what I want. I can trust you to respect hard boundaries and even uncertain boundaries without getting angry or impatient. You work with me on things, instead of dictating according to your whims.

And even though I act annoyed, I really love it when the day after we do something, you ask if I enjoyed it. It's not just because it reminds me that we did something really fun, but also because that opens the door for if there was something that I wanted to talk about, I could. And I know that you will listen, and understand.

I love that we are partners in everything. I don't want to say that you complete me. I am a whole person and don't need it. We both are. However, you compliment me in such a way, that I am less than I could be without you and I compliment you in the same way. We are bring out the best in each other.

I love you, my beloved, and I consider myself lucky to hold a place in your heart.

Yours,

Magi

He's Like the Wind

The Wind blows the season onward. Storms always come from the West. Cold comes from the North. Out of the South comes Warmth. It may be a soft breeze bringing the promise of spring. It may be the mighty gale of the tornado which leaves naught but destruction in its wake. The Wind blows. That is what it does.

People blow as well. A relationship could mean everything to them, enduring all...or it could mean nothing, constantly crumbling under the least amount of pressure. This goes for any relationship, familial, romantic, or platonic. Sometimes, they blow almost cyclically, always coming and going in a pattern that almost mimics the seasons.

That last kind has its own kind of pain, especially if you've given your all into the relationship. Eventually, you just accept that they leave. They are the Wind, constantly blowing onward and away from you.

The Wind is not harmless, but it is not evil. Neither are those Relations who are as fickle as the wind. They are just being themselves. Even when their words and actions wound, one must know that they are just being themselves. The Wind blows. That is what it does.

The thing about the Relation, though, is that it is a Person who can make choices. They can choose to say cruel things or throw fits. They can choose to decide that their pride is more important than the relationship that they have with you. They can choose whether to stay or go.

And you are responsible for your own protection as well. If the Wind is too much for you to bear, you have the choice of deciding whether you will expose yourself to it or how much you will. If you know that a tornado is coming, would you not take shelter? If the Wind brought the frost, would you not armor yourself with a coat?

If you knew that a Relation, however dear, was narcissistic and temperamental to the point of being emotionally abusive over the smallest of things, would you not learn to ignore their petty insults and demands for reparations for some imagined slight to their ego? Would you not let them go when they wished?

People make choices. The Wind does not. It just blows.